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Hannah Curry:
Okay, so firstly, I wanted to thank you for taking the time out of your day to do this interview, um, can you tell me a little bit about yourself, your name, age, pronouns. Whatever you’re comfortable with.
Jessica:
Okay, name is Jessica, I’m 29. I use She/Her/Hers pronouns, um, and I moved to New York in 2019 and started as a nurse around then a little bit before Covid hit.
Hannah:
Um, so where did you grow up and how did it lead you to New York City?
Jessica:
I grew up in Texas, um, I have family from there, but then I also have family from New York, my moms from New York, so. Moved to New York once I graduated nursing school, just to see my New York family, and also explore New York.
Hannah:
Me too. I moved here to explore New York.
Jessica:
It’s fun.
Hannah:
Yeah, it is. So where did you-um, so what got you interested in being a nurse? And were there other career paths you wanted to do as well?
Jessica:
Yeah, so I actually took like quite a few different paths before I came to nursing. Um, in college, I was trying out a lot of different majors. I ended up doing business and towards the end, um I took a few health care classes because I was interested in like, health care management; working in some kind of administration in the hospital. And I did an internship at a children’s hospital. And through that was working with a lot of nurses and realized that was something I was interested in and wanted to learn more about the disease process and be more hands on with helping sick people. So that was actually my last semester of business school that I was dealing with the nurses and realized I wanted to do that. So it was a roundabout path, but after I graduated business school, I started right back doing the prereqs for nursing school, did an accelerated nursing program and then um graduated with the accelerated BSN and moved to New York.
Hannah:
So was it like just nursing? Or did you have like, another minor?
Jessica:
Um, my first degree was business. I think I had a minor in like healthcare management or like healthcare organization. I think I ended up with enough credits. But then when I did nursing, it was just nursing with no specialization.
Hannah:
And was like the school process hard to become a nurse.
Jessica:
It was really hard, I ended up doing the accelerated program was specifically for people who already had a bachelor’s. And then within one year, you get another bachelor’s in nursing. So most semesters, we were doing like over 20 credits. And I was doing like two 12 hour clinicals a week plus school. So it was all very crunched in. And it was a lot to learn in one year to go from no clinical experience to: okay, now you’re licensed and can be a nurse, was a whirlwind.
Hannah:
Wow. Wait, so how long did that take you?
Jessica:
The program itself was only a year.
Hannah:
Oh.
Jessica:
The prereqs I did before- yeah, it took me a little longer to do like microbiology and anatomy and physiology and patho and stuff on my own, like Community College. But the bachelors in nursing program was a one year program.
Hannah:
Oh, okay. So when did you work like what years between did you work in New York City as a nurse?
Jessica:
Um, I started in 2019. And then just recently left to come back to Texas in 2023.
Hannah:
So it was like, really during COVID?
Jessica:
Yeah, I had been there a little less than a year once. COVID hit.
Hannah:
Okay, so what was your job like before COVID.
Jessica:
So before COVID I was a night shift nurse on a medicine floor. And already it was difficult, like people say the first year of nursing is really hard. And it was like it was a big adjustment. And I haven’t really taken into account like, you’ve probably realized this too, like how big it is to move to New York.
Hannah:
Yeah, it is.
Jessica:
It’s really hard. It’s a really big adjustment. It was my first time being outside of Texas. So I thought I was ready for it. But like coming from a small town to New York City was a lot. Night shift was really hard. Like my shift was 7pm to 7am.
Hannah:
Oh my god.
Jessica:
Yeah. So I would get off work, usually around eight and get home like 8:30 or 9am.
Hannah:
Wow.
Jessica:
And then if I work that same night, I would sleep until like 5pm or 6pm. It was hard to like, make friends in a new city because it’s hard normally, but then, like, the fact that you’re sleeping during the day, it’s really hard to plan anything.
Hannah:
You’re like nocturnal.
Jessica:
Yeah, I was a zombie.
Hannah:
So when COVID first hit, like, what-what was like the immediate change?
Jessica:
Yeah, um, so there had been like, some talks about it. It was actually kind of crazy. I as part of like, most first year nurses have to do like a Nurse Residency Program. So you’re working, but then also sometimes you go to education days, and hear presentations from speakers or you get floated to a different floor. So when COVID was first happening, it was like a lot of rumors, maybes “Have you heard about this”, and then I vividly remember the day, it was an education day for me. So we listened to a speaker and then I was gonna go float to a different floor and like, see what their job was like. So the speaker we listened to was actually like, a disease prevention management kind of guy. So everyone was like, “What is this COVID,” or we were calling it Coronavirus at the time, like, what is this? Have we heard about it? Like-we heard there’s a patient here too. And so he was answering all these questions and kind of preparing us and saying like, I think there’s going to be supply chain issues because the place where all our masks are made is in China and they’re on lockdown. So yeah, he was like keep an eye out. Start conserving; just a maybe. And then I went after the presentation. I was like, oh, man, I didn’t realize this is starting to be like-
Hannah:
Yeah.
Jessica:
A lot, a lot more than I expected. And then I went to a different floor where I was learning about their processes and the diseases they manage. And the manager of that floor comes to me and is like like, “Hi sorry, we’ve enjoyed having you here but you have to go back to your floor. They’re gonna need your help.” I was like, oh gosh, are they okay thinking there’s like an emergency an influx of patients. And she like didn’t even want to say the word out loud around people and cause a panic, but she looked at me and mouthed the word, “Coronavirus.”
Hannah:
Oh my god.
Jessica:
Yeah. And I was like, what? So I went back to our floor. And everyone was like, yeah, we just got noticed that we’re gonna be like the Coronavirus floor. So it was really like, for me looking back one day, we’re all totally switched. And then my whole life was COVID.
Hannah:
Yeah, because it was like, your whole floor was COVID. So you only experienced COVID patients. No one else?
Jessica:
Yes.
Hannah:
Oh my God.
Jessica:
First, it was kind of like, okay, we’re gonna clear off this section for one or two patients coming in. But that plan, I don’t think it even lasted like a week before, y’know the whole floor is Covid.
Hannah:
Yeah, so like, how did it escalate as COVID got worse and worse, like the protocols and like the reactions?
Jessica:
Yeah, at first, it was just like, trying to wrap your head around, like, okay, we’re the COVID floor. Um, and I remember thinking like, oh my gosh, we’re gonna be so isolated. Like, no one’s gonna want to come to our floor, like PT or diet-like PT is physical therapists or dietitians or the nutritionists or social work like nobody’s gonna want to come to our floor to help out because we were like, at that time, the only COVID floor. So it really was figuring it out on the spot. And at first people would come in, I think back then the COVID test took like, a few days to come back to result. I don’t remember but it took a while. So it was like a lot of people came to our floor just as um, they’re, like suspected of COVID. But we don’t know if they have it. Like they just came into the ED with a cough or fever. So we’re just precautionary, like keeping them on the COVID floor. So at first, it was just a lot of observation, even trying to figure out like, okay, what is a typical COVID patient look like? What do we even do and then so like, maybe the first few days, it was a lot of people who were coming in just kind of being on isolation for COVID. And at first I was like, okay, it’s not horrible. Like we can handle this, but a lot of those people ended up not having COVID, so all the people I thought like, oh okay, like, if this is COVID, it’s not too bad. They ended up not having COVID. And then like, within a week it was, oh my God, this is what COVID is, like, just intense, terrible trying to keep their oxygen up, trying to figure out what we can do. Um, it evolved pretty rapidly and then I don’t really remember how quickly the rest of the hospital became the COVID floor. But I think it was only a few weeks that we were the only COVID floor and then it was just kind of everywhere.
Hannah:
So like, how many floors were like COVID floors.
Jessica:
I think it was like that whole building-
Hannah:
Oh my God.
Jessica:
Because the building that I was in I think, was 18 floors. And for us, because we were the first COVID floor, once other floors became COVID, they like were sending us to other floors, because we were the only nurses who had done-had dealt with COVID. So they were sending us to other floors to like, help out and tell people like this is what we’ve learned, or this is how we’re storing supplies. So like, you don’t have to leave the room every time you forget something and take off all your PPE. Like, this is what we found works. So I know I floated to let me think how many different floors, I think like at least six of the floors, but I can’t remember, I know the pediatric floor was still open. But pretty much everything was COVID. Wow.
Hannah:
Wow, and like-
Jessica:
And like early spring.
Hannah:
Early spring of what 2020?
Jessica:
Yes.
Hannah:
Yeah. Like how many nurses were, I guess getting trained once COVID started to get worse.
Jessica:
I feel like it was all of us, like I do look back and I think what about all the regular patients. Like obviously, elective surgery was canceled and this and that. But we often talked about like, where are all the patients with just a regular heart attack. Where are all the patients Um, but it was actually a problem. I went to uh-urgent care place to get a COVID test once and they were saying like, nobody’s coming in. Like you have all these people with chest pain who are just staying home because they’re so afraid to come in. So for awhile, it was like a pause of everyone just tried to avoid going to the hospital. Um, and it was only COVID people. So it felt like every nurse was dealing with COVID, I know that’s not true. Like obviously there’s still probably like a war nurses, ER nurses seeing other things, pediatric nurses, but it kind of felt like anyone who was a nurse was having a COVID patient.
Hannah:
Yeah. Because like anyone could get it at that point.
Jessia:
Right. Yeah, but I don’t know if that’s like my skewed perspective because I was so in it, or if it really was just like, the entire hospital was COVID.
Hannah:
I feel like, I feel like a good majority was COVID
Jessica:
Definitely, because I did float to a lot of floors and like, even other buildings, and they were COVID too. So it was everywhere.
Hannah:
Yeah. So like, did you think it would get as bad as it did?
Jessica:
Um, that day the speaker had talked, I was like, Oh, my God, we’re in for it. This is so bad. Like, we’re gonna run out of this and that. And then the first few days, like, when a lot of people were coming in that didn’t have COVID, it was like, Oh, we’re okay. But yeah, pretty much after those first few days of like, a false sense of security. It was just like you’re slammed. So like, every day you kind of knew you’d come in every patient would have COVID. And it was gonna be bad. Yeah. Um, and then I like, knew it was gonna be bad in terms of our floor being the COVID floor and like being isolated because nobody’s gonna want to come to that floor and risk getting COVID, but I never pictured like, New York City shut down. Like, who knew that was the thing that could happen. And then one day on night shift, like, you know, we all slept during the day, so we wake up and we’re at night shift, and then my friends like, reading an article and she’s like, “Oh, my God, like the governor shut down New York,” like all the restaurants all of this and that, like people can’t go anywhere else. Like, what does that mean? What?
Unknown Speaker
Yeah, like that’s crazy. We’ve never experienced that.
Jessica:
Yeah, it was wild.
Hannah:
So, at the hospital were like, I guess was the treatment or like the conditions for the nurses and doctors good.
Jessica:
Um, honestly, like, I don’t want to say too much because I don’t want to get in trouble. Um- it I mean, it was unprecedented. And they did have supply chain issues. Like if we, like, can’t buy new masks, we can’t buy new masks. Like, I get it, I get there were problems. And like you would ask earlier, like, the policies and the procedures were changing every day. And like sometimes, you know, I’d wake up to go to night shift, and there’d be five different emails, one from like, 8am. Okay, this is what we’re doing one from 10am. Like, nevermind, that policies old now, new data suggests this. And like, you’d be telling your coworker like, okay, they’re saying, we’re doing this now. And they’re like, no, no, that was the email at 10am, but the email at 3pm said, we’re doing this now. So I get like, it was a very difficult time, but I think communication could have been better, a lot better, because sometimes I would show up to work on my floor and they’d be like, Oh, no, we were told you’re going to this floor. So I’d go to that floor and they’d be like, Oh, no, we were told you’re going into this floor. And sometimes it would take quite a while to even figure out like where am I supposed to be on this shift? Or, like, what the current policy is? Who to contact who? Who like decided, I’m gonna float here or there. It was difficult, but I understand also, like, they didn’t have any set protocols and procedures, and they’re trying to manage not only like their thousands of staff, but then all the travel nurses and travel respiratory therapists coming in, like, I can’t imagine.
Hannah:
Yeah, how must like crazy.
Jessica:
Yeah, like, how many people do they even have to contact in a day to get something out?
Hannah:
So was it-do you know, like, other nurses experiences from like, not from your hospital, but from a different one? Was it similar? Or, did they handle COVID similar-simiarly?
Jessica:
So after, like, I’ve worked at that hospital, um, until, like, 202ish and then I did go to a different hospital to do a different specialty. But to be honest, like, I don’t like talking about COVID with other nurses, just because it’s hard to talk about.
Hannah:
Yeah.
Jessica:
And like, I think they feel the same, too, because nobody’s ever been like, okay, so let’s sit down, like, what was your experience, like? So I think it was a unique experience in terms of like, I was one of the first COVID floors in New York; and like, my co-workers, my friends and I getting floated to different floors, and like being THE COVID nurses. But I would say it was probably similar at other hospital. Like, it just hits the hospital one day, and all of a sudden, the whole hospitals COVID and everyone’s just trying to figure out what to do and how to be safe.
Hannah:
Yeah. So, uh-have you ever gotten COVID?
Jessica:
Yes.
Hannah:
Like, while you were a nurse, or?
Jessica:
Um, yes, the first time, like, in 2020. We didn’t have, wait I don’t want to say that on the record, I’ll get in trouble. Um, yes. It’s hard to tell, like if it was from a patient, or if I got it maybe riding the bus or something. So I can’t really pinpoint. But yeah, I’ve had COVID. Before.
Hannah:
And what like, do you still have to go to work or you took, like quarantine off?
Jessica:
Um, early in spring, like May-March, April, May, when it was really bad. They were saying like, if you can come to work, come to work. Because at that time, I was working on the COVID floor, so it’s not like I was going to expose the patients.
Hannah:
That’s true, that’s true.
Jessica:
Yeah, but they were saying like, if your fevers under a certain amount, and if you feel good to come to work, come to work.
Hannah:
Yeah.
Jessica:
Well, but then, I don’t remember how long that policy lasted. But then later on, it was like,oOkay, if you have COVID, I think at first you were off, you had to quarantine for like, 7 or 10 days or whatever. And I think now it’s like, maybe a few days and then when you’re testing negative and you feel okay, you can go back.
Hannah:
Yeah, and so you had to like, did you choose to work when you had COVID?
Jessica:
Um, I know I called out. No, I didn’t. I called out because I was like, I’m gonna be no help to people while I’m sick. I understand like, we’re low on staff, but at that time, the travel nurses had started coming in so we were like, getting better. So I felt like it’d be better for me to be home and not get other nurses, doctors, whoever sick, rather than go in and spread it even more.
Hannah:
Yeah, so what was like the gear? Like I guess, the nurse gear.
Jessica:
Um, at first, they were unsure. At first, it was a surgical mask, but I heard some nurses were being told like they shouldn’t even wear that, and that it’ll scare the patients, they don’t need to. And then people were talking, like we were wearing surgical masks, and some people were saying, like, we should have the N95s; We should have this or that. So I don’t remember how long it took until they officially came out with like, yeah, you guys need to be wearing N95, eye protection, um- the that like blue or yellow gown you’ve probably seen?
Hannah:
Yeah, the blue ones I’ve seen.
Jessica:
Yeah, and then like hair nets, it was everything. Shoe Covers.
Hannah:
Oh, shoe covers?
Jessica:
Yeah, because people like didn’t want to bring it home to their kids, didn’t want to bring the bus or the train. Yeah. So at first it was like, head to toe covered. Um, and then, after quite a while, I would say it wasn’t until like, 2022ish, maybe? Or 2021 that they came out with like, okay, like, you don’t have to do the shoe covers, you don’t have to, but definitely like, it’s still N95, the gown, gloves, all that.
Hannah:
Mhmm, and um, was there ever like, I guess, did you ever run out of those resources? Like the gowns and stuff?
Jessica:
Yeah.
Hannah:
So, did you have to like, reuse them? Or?
Jessica:
Yes, there was a point in time where for N95s what we had to do, like they were locked away. And like the manager, whoever was in charge of the floor, had the key. So you would go to them and basically like, sign out, kind of like renting a library book or something like you’d sign your name, I’m getting it on this date. And then you had to keep your mask for two weeks. And then you could go back and ask for another one. And like at first there were the good quality ones that we would always use. But then after weeks and months, they were like you could tell they were made by a different manufacturer. Like I was in the room sometimes and like the band would snap and your mask would come off. Or yeah, like um, yeah, it was just nuts. So definitely like the masks were the biggest issue because I think that’s the one that was manufactured in China when it was on lockdown. But then gowns were scarce, the face masks or shields I should say, uh-I think we had those, but again, we were reusing them. Like before COVID, the precaution was like, if you go in a room, you put on a new mask, go in the room, and then come out and take that mask off. Like you would never wear the same mask for even an hour, let alone a day or two weeks. So yeah, the N95s were on lockdown. We had to like sign them out to get them. And then there was a time to where they had like a basket that they said like put your mask in here, don’t throw it out, like put it in here and it gets sanitized and gets back to you. But like people were getting masks that had been sanitized with like makeup still on it. And it was like, this isn’t even like the color of my makeup.
Hannah:
Oh, no.
Jessica:
So yeah, it was a time.
Hannah:
So this was like worldwide., but I know that a lot of patients didn’t have the resources like the ventilators and stuff like that. Was your hospital in a shortage too?
Jessica:
Yes, at first, um, and this wasn’t just like my floor just in New York, but like everyone thought at first like, okay, all these patients need to go on a ventilator. And that’s what we’re doing it first later, we realized like people going on the vents weren’t coming off, and that wasn’t the thing we wanted to do right away. But there was a period of time where that was thought to be the best plan. So then there was talk about we’re running out of ventilators, what are we going to do? How are we going to prioritize patients? There’s going to have to be like some kind of point system, where it’s like, if a patient has XY and Z comorbidities, then it’s maybe like three points or two points or whatever. And then, like you kind of tally it up and whoever has like the most points gets a ventilator. I don’t think we ever had to get to that but it was close.
Hannah:
Oh, okay. So at least it didn’t get that bad, I guess.
Jessica:
Yeah. Yeah.
Hannah:
So has this whole experience changed your outlook on being a nurse or like the medical field in general?
Jessica:
Definitely. And I would say that for a lot of nurses, I mean, you read in the papers all the time, like, it’s a nursing shortage or, like a lot of nurses have left the profession or this or that, like, you know, I don’t want to say anything specifically against like admin or my hospital. But, it like, did make you realize in some ways, like, there’s professions where you’re not thrown to the wolves, um or where you can help people, but you are given the resources and the supplies and the time to help people. So, yeah, it’s like, I’ve seen a different side of nursing and I think now too, like, a lot of hospitals are short staffed. So because a lot of people like left the profession because of COVID, um so it’s hard to get back to normal when each day like you’re short on staff, so you can’t help out your nurses as much as you want to if you don’t have nurses to staff the floor. So I get it in terms of like, the admin side and their problems. But yeah, I think it did make a lot of people look around and be like, this is not, you know, what I- like I came to help people and I’m not, I don’t have the tools to do that.
Hannah:
Yeah, that must be really hard.
Jessica:
Yeah. But like, there’s different specialties in nursing, like I’m in a different specialty now, like a more procedural area. So, like, nursing is versatile. And it’s nice to find, okay, this wasn’t for me, but like, maybe ICU is or maybe procedural. Like, it is nice that you get to test your hand at a lot of different things.
Hannah:
Yeah. So like, even though it was really stressful or hard, like, it didn’t really make you regret, you know, becoming a nurse.
Jessica:
Um, I think about it sometimes, like, What awful timing to be like, I’m gonna be a nurse and move to New York City. Like, less than a year before New York City is like the epicenter of this global pandemic. Um, but I made really great friends, I feel like I’ve seen so much. Like I have a different perspective and maturity level and like, different outlook, like to hear so many people that are dying, like talk about what they regret, or don’t regret, like it gives you a different perspective, because none of my patients were ever telling me like, oh, I should have I wish I would have worked an extra 60 or 80 hours, like, you know, I had patients talk to me and like, one patient was even so frank, and he was like, I didn’t spend enough time with my kids. Like, if I had to do it all over again, like, I wasn’t as good of a dad as I could have been, I should have been there more. He’s like, Why? Why did I work? He’s like, I have all this money for what, like I’m in bed alone.
Hannah:
That’s sad.
Jessica:
Not like-it was really sad. So I do think I’m really blessed to have heard like, a lot of people’s last words or regrets or wishes, but it is really heavy sometimes to to be like-
Hannah:
Yeah
Jessica:
I’ve heard hundreds of people’s last, or maybe I don’t know about hundreds, but at least like yeah, dozens. Um, so it just really gives you a different perspective of life. I do really enjoy, like when I can help someone who’s in a lot of pain or doesn’t know you know, certain health things and you can educate like, it is a really beautiful thing. So sometimes I question it, but I don’t regret it at the end of the day.
Hannah:
Thant’s good. So were there any memories like stories good or bad that stuck with you that you still like kind of think about today? You know, pops up randomly?
Jessica:
Yeah, yeah, a lot. Like I definitely, even before COVID like, I wouldn’t really watch anything that was medical, like a TV show or anything, just because I’d be like, Oh, they’re not doing that right or this or that. But now especially even like one little mention, sometimes unexpectedly can throw me off and it will remind me of a patient or situation and like I just can’t sleep that night or can’t stop thinking about it or like, I should have said this or I should have told them that or like, you know I hope they heard this. You know like a lot of people in a coma go like I wonder if me talking to them made a difference. So there’s definitely things you still think about or patients that you’re still like, I wonder how their family is or you know, even patients that got better you’re like, I wonder how they’re doing or, it’s hard sometimes to not-even the patients you know that were discharged from the hospital and got better you’re like, I wish I could just get a little update like, you know, they were talking about they want to reconcile with their son or this and that like you. You do get very attached.
Hannah:
Yeah, especially how long they’ve been in for.
Jessica:
Yeah.
Hannah:
So, um, this was obviously like stressful times, like, how did you get through it was there like a support system in the hospital, or?
Jessica:
I’m really lucky that my coworkers were fantastic. We were like a strong group before, if you needed help, if you needed like help on the floor in terms of work, or if you needed to talk to someone. Like, it was a really great group, which I think is important for a lot of nurses, because you know, it’s not something even before COVID, like some of the things you see in here, it’s not something like you can go out with your friends. You know, everyone’s talking about work and you can’t be like, oh, yeah, well, today my job like-this guy died, or this woman you know, bled out, like, so you do need like a strong support group already, which, thankfully, I had the best group with my co-workers. And then during COVID, it was just strengthened even more. Um, and y’know, everyone was quarantining, and I just moved to New York. So I don’t like, I wasn’t able to see my family that’s in New York, and I obviously wasn’t able to see my Texas family. I wasn’t seeing any of my, like, non nursing friends, so for me, my co workers were also like, the only people I was seeing at the time. So it was really good to have them as a support group, and like, we all leaned on each other.
Hannah:
But if Yeah, I feel like a lot of people don’t have a support system, and that just makes you know, the job harder, even like at home, when you’re quarantine it must be really lonely.
Jessica:
So sometimes I was thinking, like, obviously, it’s awful to be like a nurse in a pandemic, but I was like, you know, on the bright side, like, I get to like, at least see some of my friends, like my co-workers, I get to see them and talk to them. Like some people have been quarantining at home for weeks or months. Like, if they don’t have a roommate or a partner, they’re alone in their apartment or house or wherever.
Hannah:
Yeah and, like, even with my family, I was like, getting tired of them. So…
Jessicaq:
You’re like, I don’t want to see you guys anymore.
Hannah:
I know, so living alone, like, yeah, that’s, I can’t imagine that.
Jessica:
Yeah, it was good and bad, because like, I wasn’t coming home from a shift worried if I was gonna, like, pass it on to a loved one. Um, so that part was nice, but I mean, pros and cons, like it was definitely hard to be alone and the only people I saw were either, like patients who were dying or like in, you know, a bad state or other medical personnel. So very much was my whole world, but at the same time, like, I don’t envy, like you, or my family who was just stuck at home every day. Nobody had it good during COVID.
Hannah:
No, definitely. Yeah. So as cases lessen, and like symptoms became less severe. How did, was-was it your job like, as, I guess, less demanding, or did it kind of loosen up a little?
Jessica:
It got better. You know, it was like, I still think about it when the floors started going back to what they were pre COVID. Like, back to a surgical floor, back to a neural neurological floor. Like it was such a special moment, like so uplifting and heartwarming to like, see that email or, like I went to go get supplies on different floor and be like, oh, wow, they’re converting it back to non-COVID. Like, it was such a great feeling. My floor then stayed the COVID floor while other floors went back to normal. So we were the COVID floor for a long time. But once it went back to COVID It was nice because then we all came back to the floor like we had been floated everywhere so you’re like reuniting with people you hadn’t seen like, oh, how is this floor my floor was like this. And at that point, we kind of had like a better handle on like, what it looks like when somebody comes in with COVID the presentation, the progression, how we handle it, so it was much less overwhelming and nerve wracking. Um, and it was just so uplifting to see like okay, we actually like have somewhat of a handle on this and kind of know how to treat this and other floors you know were going back to normal. It was like such a nice time and New York City really bonded and like lifted each other up. Like I have pictures from the hospital window if you looked out there is like an apartment across the street and I think these neighbors had to like all get together and plan on this. Um, but on their windows they had a bunch of like just blank white sheets of paper taped up to the window. But all together like horizontally it spelled “Thank you,” with the heart-
Hannah:
Aw.
Jessica:
Because they knew from the hospital window, that’s what people would see. So it was things like that-
Hannah:
Aww, that’s so cute
Jessica:
It was so cute, and like, you know, on a bad shift and like when all you’re seeing is, you know, like death or just really heavy stuff to look out the window and see the sun rising at the end of your shift and see thank you and heart or like New York strong or we’ll get through this, whatever they had spelled it was like, okay this is awful-
Hannah:
Oh, so they did multiple?
Jessica:
They did yeah, like one was just a bunch of hearts. There was a bunch of like New York strong, um like throughout the city or like, we wear masks to protect each other like New Yorkers stand together. It was really nice to see this just humans coming together. So as things started lessening out, it was actually like a really. I mean, it was still COVID, but it was a nice time because it was light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah, it was just very inspiring. I don’t know.
Hannah:
Yeah, it’s really cute of them. Yeah, so how, how long was like the, I guess the whole building COVID, and then like, when did it shift?
Jessica:
I don’t remember. Like, I know, some floors were only COVID for like, a few weeks or a month. I know Ii was definitely like spring, like, March April, May were awful. And I know like June and July, like walking to work, I would see a lot more people like people were doing outdoor dining. So I think it was getting better than but I don’t remember like when the other floors went back to normal because our floors still stayed COVID.
Hannah:
Yeah.
Jessica:
So like, definitely not spring, like spring was just bad for everyone.
Hannah:
Yeah, so it was fine. At least for a few weeks, if not months.
Jessica:
That everything was COVID.?
Hannah:
Yeah.
Jessica:
Yeah. And now that I’m thinking about it, like it seems so long. That’s crazy if it was only a month because it just seemed I mean, that was, you know, your whole world. Yeah. I’m trying to look back at my photos and see if I can find photos of like, the signs in the window. Like, thank you, we love you because that was around that time. Yeah, let me see if I can find one of them.
Hannah:
Maybe I can, like put pictures up on the video.
Jessica:
If you’re allowed to, I think I have pictures of like, empty New York. Like, one day I just biked like a city bike through like, empty Times Square.
Hannah:
Wow, that’s like dystopian.
Jessica:
It really was. It was like, I’ll never see New York like this, I would have never expected it.
Hannah:
Completely empty, desolate.
Jessica:
It was crazy. Oh my gosh, it’s so weird looking through sorry. I’m seeing like people used to write in chalk on the floors like “Thank you.”
Hannah:
Like across the building or just like everywhere.
Jessica:
On the sidewalk or like walking into the hospital, people have written like, thank you, We appreciate you. Or like they would put signs up on a light post, like stay strong. Oh, let me see here. So this is from September, so at least by September, but I think it was sooner than that. Probably like late summer, early fall, it looks like.
Hannah:
Late summer, early fall.
Jessica:
Yeah.
Hannah:
So uh, I know you like moved hospitals, but there’s, you know, there’s some protocols that stuck from COVID, even after COVID, like, what are those? Like, do you still have to wear the full gear or like you can just wear like regular masks.
Jessica:
Um, when I switched hospitals at the time, it was well, it was a procedural area so that’s different because they’re like, even non COVID you would wear-
Hannah:
Yeah.
Jessica:
Yeah, uh but at the time, we were all still wearing N95s. Now, I think it was like maybe I don’t want to say what, but it was a while ago that like surgical like everyone was doing the surgical like plain face masks. And then, I can’t believe I don’t remember when ,but I remember like hearing that like, oh, this hospital is like they’ve gotten rid of their mask policy. And I was like, wow, oh my gosh, it’s been years, yeah. But it lasted quite a while like it was at least 2022 when hospitals still require you to wear a mask at all times. For my job, like in the procedural area, we would still wear a mask. But I think currently at our hospital, it’s not a requirement for other floors or specialties. Um, the visitor policy lasted a long time, like where it was no visitors for quite a while and then it was like limited visitors or limited hours. Um, I’’m trying to think what else lasted but definitely the masks, that was probably the longest one
Hannah:
Was uhh I guess, like no one, no one, like has to go on like ventilators? Or are the symptoms still the same?
Jessica:
Um, I know like with each variation and strain, like it’ll be different system or, like different symptoms, different severity. For quite a while the hospital would send out like, at first it was daily, like during the thick of it, but then for years, it would be like weekly updates or monthly updates like this is how many COVID patients we have in the hospital. Currently this many are in the ICU, this many are in like regular floors. They don’t do that anymore, but it was for a long time that they’d be like giving updates like, oh, we only have you know, 50 patients that are COVID. And then it would be like, we only have five and it was so crazy to go from like five different policy updates a day and like this is the latest from the CDC and this is what we’re doing to like, you know, years later, just get an email like, oh, there’s only five COVID patients, none of them are on ventilators or one of them is so it was definitely like a slow progression. You know, technically like somebody could still go on a ventilator today because of COVID. It just depends on the strain, the person. Yeah, but yes, yeah. It’s not like, every day all day, like it used to be.
Hannah:
Yeah, so do you think that what you have gone through would stick with you into your next like job or like in the future?
Jessica:
Yeah, for sure. Like, there’s no way you forget that or undo that or like, I guess I have forgotten a lot of it because I blocked it out. Uh, but yeah, there’s no way you don’t carry that with you.
Hannah:
Yeah, and during, during or even after COVID, what were some, like fears you had about COVID? Or your job?
Jessica:
Hmm. Definitely, in the thick of it like, there was a point where you just feel like, okay, I’m going to get this, you know, you’re in the room and your mask that was like stapled together pops off? Or, you know, it’s just all you see, and all you hear all day. Yeah, like, there’s no way I’m not going to get this. So then you think about like, you know, because you would hear stories about people that were alone and like had COVID and just, you know, were found on their floor by like, 911, because nobody was there to call emergency services for them. Or like everyone, it was happening to everyone. So it was just, you know, there was a time where you’re like, okay, I’m gonna get this, I hope I don’t die from it. Or like, I’m gonna get this Thank God, I live alone, so I don’t pass it on to anyone or like, you know, a lot of nurses were writing, like, on our days off our time off, like, would write like, you know, if you find me like, I want this treatment, I don’t want this kind of treatment. Like I want to be on a ventilator, I don’t want a feeding tube or I don’t like after seeing all the stuff in the ICU because I was floated to the ICU for a bit. Like you’re just like, okay, so if this was me, like, I’m just gonna write it out and make it easy for my family, so they don’t have all these tough decisions. Um, but I think that wasn’t-
Hannah:
Did you have to do something like that too? Or did you choose to?
Jessica:
I chose to, not legally, it’s not like the hospital sent out like a list. Yeah. But I think it was a thing everyone went through. I mean, obviously, like for medical personnel, like right in the face of it, it was more of a risk, but I think everyone was at home like, okay, let me update my will or make sure all my affairs are in order because there was a time where it was just, you know?
Hannah:
Yeah, yeah.
Jessica:
Right. So I don’t think it’s unique to nursing. There’s a different perspective to it, because it was you know, sometimes I’m like, oh my god, I’m looking at my future. But it was just crazy for everyone.
Hannah:
And you were talking about your family. Um, like about what they would do in a situation like but like, were they worried? Like, did they want you to stop? Or like come back home? Or did they kind of let you have to, like, let you do what you have to do.
Jessica:
I’m sure they were like, I know, they were worried. And I know, they didn’t want to put that on me like the extra stress of them and their emotions. And at the same time, like, I laugh now, because when I talk to them, now my moms or like, my family is like, oh my gosh, like, we were so worried it was so hard to see you there, see the news or this or that. But at the time, like when we would do zoom calls, or texting or phone calls, I’d be like, I’m just going to put on a happy face and they’ll have no idea how bad it is. I’m not going to stress them out. And now when I talk to them, they’re like, yeah, we knew, what do you mean, we obviously knew COVID was bad and like, it wasn’t good for you. Yeah. Um, but like, I had a lot of family support. And even you guys, like, when I was moving I, like was going through all my stuff, obviously, and saw a card from you guys that I don’t, again, like I blacked stuff out. So I don’t remember if I ever said thank you. I don’t remember if I ever even acknowledged it, because like, so much would happen in a day. And it was just so overwhelming, but like, I look back, and I’m like, Oh, wow, here’s a letter from-or like, here’s a care package, or this or that, like, I truly blacked it out. But I do know, like, there was a ton of support. And like, I know your dad was always checking in like, you guys were always there. And like, Do you need anything? What can we send? Like? I don’t remember specific things, but I remember feeling like loved and supported and it was like a team effort.
Hannah:
Yeah, I think like my mom was like, Oh, do you need more masks? Because we bought so many or something.
Jessica:
You guys like, I remember, like had sent a ton of masks. The card like, I don’t know, I cried when I saw it. So thank you guys. Yeah, it was just, you know?
Hannah:
Aw, yeah,.
Jessica:
Like, I did feel very supported, even with like people far away and not being able to see people. It just felt like a very, like, loving, I’m taken care of and supported situation. So like, I don’t know, there are some really tender moments from COVID, if that’s weird to say.
Hannah:
No, because like, I mean, the apartment thing is cute and like, what?
Jessica:
Yeah.
Hannah:
I mean, I bet you know, without the support, it would have been way like-
Jessica:
Yeah.
Hannah:
Harder to get through it.
Jessica:
Yeah. Oh, my gosh, yeah.
Hannah:
So I’m glad that you had that you and your hospital had that.
Jessica:
Yeah. And thank you guys. Like I don’t know if I ever said it because I was just a robot then, but it did really mean a lot. And I still think about it and obviously have the card and some of the masks too. Thank you.
Hannah:
Yeah, uh so like, going out of the hospital, like as a government as a whole, like, do you think things could have been done better?
Jessica:
It’s hard looking back now because like, now, obviously, we know what works and what doesn’t and like, oh, this was a waste of time. Oh, this, like, why didn’t we do it sooner? So I do feel more comforted like if this were to happen again, hospitals are prepared and like they’ve sent out their emails, like, in the future, this is our action plan, or um you know, this is what we have extra of and supplies and this and that. So it’s hard to say like, obviously, I feel like it could have been handled better in the moment.
Hannah:
Yeah.
Jessica:
nd like it didn’t like, we were the boots on the ground, we were the people seeing it. So sometimes it was frustrating, like, nobody’s asking us what we need or what policies or what we’re seeing. But at the same time, I understand like, for the administration to try to coordinate this huge response. And like, okay, if you ask one nurse or one doctor, then you have a hundred saying, well, no, no, no, I saw this or I actually think we need this not that like, so I get it. It was such like an overwhelming process. But I do feel like communication could have been better, but at the same time, like I wasn’t in their position, so I don’t know. What it was like for them. Yeah,
Hannah:
Yeah, I guess everyone just tried to do the best they could.
Jessica:
Yeah, that’s what I think at the end of the day, like, we were all just struggling.
Hannah:
Yeah, we didn’t really know what COVID was.
Jessica:
Right? Yeah.
Hannah:
Yeah. So has this experience, I guess, like, changed your personal life? Or like how you look at things?
Jessica:
Yeah, definitely. I mean, I think nursing in general, I think most people would say that because again, you do see people at like their worst moments, their last moments or if they get good news, like, you know, some of their best, happiest moments. So you really, I mean, you see the depths of humanity. Um and it’s crazy to think I was like, 25. Or like, I don’t want to say, well, I guess I’ve already said my age. But like, we were all, most of us were in our 20s. Like, trying to figure out like a global pandemic.
Hannah:
Yeah, that’s pretty young.
Jessica:
Honestly. It’s so young, like, I think about it now. And I’m like, dang, I was older, but like a 22 year old can be a nurse and, like, you know, you do get a lot of life perspective, but sometimes it is hard. And like, when I was first a nurse, I really struggled, like relating to my non nursing friends. Because again, it would be like, okay, we all go out for dinner and like, you want to talk about work. But, you know, people are talking about like, emails or meetings, and you’re talking about like, oh, yeah, this guy had to get his leg cut off, or this guy just got told he has like, a few weeks to live even though he just got married. Like, without COVID? Yes, it changes you. With COVID. Oh my gosh. Yeah.
Hannah:
Yeah, like you kind of just matured fast. And yeah, it kind of, I guess, like loss some relatability with your friends, because of how fast your life was, like going.
Jessica:
Yeah, that’s a good way to put it. But then like during COVID to think about, like, you and Sean, like, in high school and having like, totally not normal high school experience, or Sean having like a totally not normal graduation. Like, that changes you to because now if you like, talk to people a few years younger than you, they didn’t have the same experience. And you’re like, Oh, that’s cool. Like, you don’t know what it was like doing online school trying to figure out when I’m going to see my friends again.
Hannah:
Yeah, like everyone had crazy like, my brother didn’t have, you know, a graduation.
Jessica:
Yeah, like this huge life moment that you didn’t have and like, can’t relate to other people. Like, I got to walk across the stage at graduation, like, with the normal amount of people there and-
Hannah:
Yeah, me too, I mean.
Jessica:
Yeah, like it’s, or, you know, I didn’t like my little brother, I didn’t have to do like online school and all that. Like, it was just hard for everyone. So I do try to keep that perspective when I’m like, Oh, my God, I can’t believe I was a nurse during COVID. I’m like, well, it sucked whether I was a nurse or not like COVID was awful.
Hannah:
Yeah, but especially hard for you.
Jessica:
Yeah, but I was lucky in some ways, too, so.
Hannah:
Yeah, yeah. There’s like a silver lining with it
Jessica:
Yeah, definitely.
Hannah:
Yeah. Um, so that’s, like, all the questions. So like, as we wrap it up, do you have any final thoughts about COVID? Or like your experience?
Jessica:
Um, I think those are great questions. Those were like very on the nose and introspective, so thank you for that. I want to like leave positive, because there’s so many like negative things to say or was like, so dark and heavy. And like, I’ve tried not to be like, too harsh on administration. Um, one because I don’t want to get in trouble. Like, I’m trying to understand what they were dealing with too. Um, so I’ll just say like, I really, like I can sometimes get down on COVID like if something reminds me of it, or, you know, thinking of it or just being like you said a loss of relatability. But at the same time, like, I’m so lucky, that I got to see some of the best of humanity in some ways, like the way my friends and family rallied around me, you guys like, and New York City was so special. So like, I’m so blessed to have seen that. Um, so yeah, it was, I mean, everyone’s gonna be telling, like, their kids or grandkids their individual, unique experience.
Hannah:
And you have a really, really like, interesting perspective. Right in the middle of it.
Jessica:
It was wild. It was wild.
Hannah:
Yeah, it sounds wild.
Jessica:
But thank you for thinking of me. Like I’m honored that you had this project and thought of me. I think that’s really sweet.
Hannah:
So, I appreciate-I appreciate you again, for taking the time out of your day to share your experience. It definitely gives an interesting and informative perspective and COVID-19. And um thank you for your sacrifice as a nurse too, that must be really hard.
Jessica:
Aww well, thank you. Thank you for listening and asking such good questions and just talking about it.
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